pressure~~

i just don't know why, i missed MAMA so bad this week.. why? homesick ka oo?? :( i dont know how homesick feels cos it's been a while since i have that feeling.. hoho

i guess it's been a very stressful week for me. when i'm under pressure, i miss MAMA.3 deadlines + 1 maths test ==> what more can i say??

shit. i'm not starting to cry am i?? :'(

the worst feeling is that when your parents mentioned bout their death. i seriously cannot imagine how my life would be. O ALLAH, please let me die first before them....

now i know~~

now i know, who i can work with and who i cannot.
my midsem break is almost PERFECTO. minus the part where i have to finish THE WHOLE GROUP PROJECT ON MY OWN.. THANKS A LOT PEEPS~

THANKS. A. LOT.
=,,=

oh well..
one must not whine.
just look at the bright side: you'll learn from what you've done!
you know what to do and they don't.
i know i gain something. did you?

XOXO

imma cry~

i cry when i'm REALLY confuse,
i cry when i'm REALLY anxious,
i cry when i'm REALLY pissed.

i almost cried
cos i was REALLY confuse.

RIGHT NOW,
i feel like crying
for i'm SUPER FUCKINGLY nervous.

O ALMIGHTY ALLAH,
please help me get through all this.
AMIN.

*gulp*

01-11-11

hello whaddup peeps~
assalam..

long time no write bloggy... been so busy maa.. being a uni student.. *hands on shoulder, mata ke atas*
 but u have time for twitter meh? errr... damdidamdidam..

it's just that whenever i click *write new post* all i see is a blank page. no ideas. maybe they jumped into UNIMAS LAKE. LOL

so like as usual, i turned LAPPY on, plugged BERUK in and tweet. i looked at the twitter trending column ( whatever they called it) and then it hits me. REASONS YOU ARE SINGLE.

i don't know if it is normal or not, but at this age, well maybe some say it is still too early, but my ICT lecturer in MATRIX once said, "girls, when you enter university, during your first year of study, YOU MUST start looking for a boyfriend/future husband." oookaaaayyy~ like it is sooooo important.. pffftt.. =,,="

well, it IS kinda suck watching people sitting with the boyfriend, talked bout their boyfriends, boyfriend this boyfriend that. WHY DON'T I HAVE ONE??

i'm not picky. well yes of course us girls like to woe guys like TAYLOR LAUTNER, but guys like him OBVIOUSLY are just illusions. duhhh~
it's just that people never really ask me the question.
when i say question i mean, "WOULD YOU BE MY GIRLFRIEND?" 
LOL
maybe they did. it's just that i don't really get it.
so please be straight forward to me, kay?

yes. people did confess that they have feelings for me. but i always question myself.
is his feeling real? or is he just fooling around to see whether i'm an easy-to-get girl or not?

how can you say you like me when we just know each other?
maybe i should stop asking questions. =,,='

even if my own friend said that they like me, i still ask the questions. and of course i'll keep it to myself.
cos i know it is gonna be sooo awkward like moving one step away from being friends.
but we know each other well. can't we just ..... ?
it's not i don't like you cos if it's true, i won't be your friends laaa doii..
in that case, you have to convince me real good ok?

oh well.. maybe IT IS too early for me. don't worry fatin. your time'll come soon. SOOOOON. just let time decides.. cewahhh! OR MAYBE this game will help. :)

why my post suddenly macam  luahan hati oo? haha.. who cares.. macam desperate pun ada jwak aku tekk.. LOL

OK! done yapping. gotta study for linguistic tomorrow! adios muchachos!!

P/S: it's 01-11-11, what should i do to remember this date? hmmm...

mm-hmm~

you know when sometimes you feel like crying but you don't exactly know WHY?
you will find a way or something that'll trigger your tears to fall.
you'll be fine afterwards.

say my name, say my name~

There was a girl who was born two years after the complication of her sister's birth. Knowing that it was the second caesarian labour for the mother, after her first child who didn't manage to survive, she knew that the most number of children she'll get would only be two. So the couple decided to give a long name to their two children; the newborn and the one after who was born 2 years later. The newborn girl was named “Dayang Nurfatin Farzana” and this “girl” is me.

I asked my mom, “why was I named as such, out of all the names in the world?” Well there's of course a reason to everything. “Dayang” is actually a title name I get from my father's side. It is said that my ancestors comes from the Brunei royal family which have “Awang” and “Dayang” as titles. So I am somehow and somewhat related to the Brunei Royal Family.

As far as I know, most Malay Muslim's names are derived from Arabic words that had been modernised. The names portray certain particular meanings. My name, “Nurfatin” was actually a combination of “Nur” which means “light” and “Fatin” which means “petite” or “small”. So “Nurfatin” actually means “the light of a captivating petite girl”. My mom told me that I was born very small and cute. That's why they called me ”Fatin”.

Based on my research, “Farzana” comes from an African word which means “wise” or “intelligent”. My dad wants his children to be intelligent as they grow, so he finds a name that could reflect the meaning. He found “farzana” for me and “ariffin” for my brother which carries almost the same meaning. Putting all my names together; “Dayang Nurfatin Farzana” means “the light of a petite, captivating and wise girl”.

Credits to Google, I found ways to write and pronounce my name in three different languages.

ENGLISH	CHINESE	ARABIC	JAPANESE
DAYANG	达杨 = da yang	دايانغ = dayangh	デイアング = deiangu
NURFATIN	奴法廷 = nu fa ting	نورفاتن = nwrfatn	ナーファッティン = nafattin
FARZANA	法扎纳 = fa zha na	فرزانة = farzanah	ファーザナー = fazana

Long names or short, never really matters. The real question is, what's behind your name? I found mine. What's yours? ^^

cute and curly teehee~~

walking back to my room,
planning to continue my work after zohor.
encounter a lot of people i know who seems to vlock my way cos i didnt notice them for i'm busy replying my text. and i was like OH HI!!

as i reached my apartment, evelyne said there's no electricity. DAMN!
so i decided to sleep hoping that when i wake up, there's electricity.

BUT NOOOOO~~
i was so pissed. so i packed my things and text amy that i'm going to her place. sleeping over.
and masa ya juak laa ada urang nak mintak tulong aku tek nakk.. yahhh..
a friend of mine who name would not be mentioned asked me to go to sakura college WHICH is across the bridge.. dah la aku tek kepanasan nisik ada karan nakk.. di suroh gik bejalan ke sinun. nak ka moha nyawa kuuu~
i asked her to come here and pick up the kunci from me. your thing is with me, you want it, you get it yourseelf!

BUT NOOO~~
i think too much about people. i need to stop that. urgh! so i asked her to wait at the bridge.
on my way, i encountered a couple of strangers. one creepy one and athe other one is cute! hahaha LOL

the creepy one was like: dik dik dik.. cik adik.. nak g mkn ke?
and i was like: tak.. nak g jumpe orang.. (what the...? )
and he went again like: oh.. ok.

while the cute one was soo nice to me. i met him on my way back from the bridge. why is he cute? he has curly hair!! and tall! and he seems like rich.. teehee~~
he was jogging behind me and like running very fast, passing by me and go like: go go go go keep it up! sikit lagi!
and i was like: ...........
then he walked after crossing the road and my turn to run crossing the road. then i managed to walk pass him (and his friend). and he went  again: ok! good good good.. awak dah kurus dah..
me: errr... thanks?
cute curly: eh? nape tak pakai kasut? tak joging ke?
me: oh tak.. g jumpe orang..
cute curly: oh.. sayang laa.. body cantik macam awak tak g joging.
me: eh?? mane ad.. (nasib ko kiut tek nakk.. yyaaahh)
cute curly: (talking to his friend).. mane ada ak ngorat.. saya tak ngorat awak kan?
me: huh? ye2 .. tak.. :) (mun ko ngancin ku tek nakpa jak salah nak?? teehee~)
cute curly: haa.. tengok.. dia cool je..
me: ..........

then i met that creepy one again and he was like: dik dik dik cik adik.. first year ke?
i went like: aah. first year
he asked: orang mane?
i replied with a smile: orang sarawak. from kuching.
him: ohh..
aku tek nyaut jwak tek oo.. hahahaha

then i went back to amy's room. recieved a text from my roommate saying that the electricity is on. she begged me to come back. but i'm so damn lazy~ lalalala
then amy, alin and i went to the cafe for dinner. people like appear out of nowhere and the cafe seems pack with humans. where to sit??
after waiting for HALF AN HOUR, we managed to find a table. ALHAMDULILLAH~
and guess what, today is FARZDAY!! abang manis is at the cafe!! hihihihhi~ green tshirt with kain pelikat. awww~ now i know when's he having his dinner.. teehee~~

i'm still at amy's room. refuse to go back. sorry kak fatin! =..=

P/S : since i masuk unimas, my post macam more to guys nak oo?? kenj ku jwakk.. skatii~ cam ko x tek nakk?? yahhh.. :P

aint no money for food.. XD

i declare today as FARZDAY!! hihihihhihi~~

i forgot to ask pocket money from my aunty last weekend so im left with my raya angpau money WHICH there are not much left. so i decided to go to the atm at bhep after class today. quite a long queue. but i managed to be patient though YEAA~ waiting is killing.

one after another. i saw their disappointed face after dealing with the machine. i dont care. who knows fate might be on my side. LOL. slot in my atm card > chose english > pin number > balance inquiry > REJECTED,

what the.... ?

so i tried again. slot in > english > pin number > balance inquiry > REJECTED.

fuck! how am i suppose to eat??? i'm only left with RM1 note in my wally.. shit!! its only tuesday!! i have like a few more days to survive without food!! maaaaann~

as i was walking and cursing in my head and thinking how am i gonna survive without meal and replying my text, i saw somebody from afar, green tshirt ( i was wearing green tshirt too!) and a red bag.. he was talking to his friend! and i was like teeheee~~ wait ithink i'm gonna call him McSweety.. teehee~~

i smiled all the way to the cafe to meet up with fui man and caroline. thinking of him makes my money problem go bye2.. teehee~~

and when  i reached the cafe:
fui man: go buy your food.
me: (still smiling). aint no money.. XD
fui man: i thought you went to the atm?
me: yup. aint no money. XD
caroline: no money but you can still smile?
me: teehee~~ i saw my McSweety.. we are wearing green together.. XD
fui man: aiyaa.. nah use my money. so now you owe me RM16.
me: eh?? alaaa.. malu laa.. i owe you so many already.
fui man: alaa.. just take it laa.. you pay back later.
me: awww.. xie xie ni~

so i was left with only 10 rgt for this week i hope the atm can be used tomorrow.. tomorrow is wednesday! teehee~~

oh yaaa.. on the way back after dinner with amy and alin, i saw his poster. RUNNING FOR MAJLIS TERTINGGI JPK BRC.. awwwww... VOTE!! feel like taking the poster off and paste it in my room.. teehee~~ and i figured that last saturday was his birthday.. awww... i'm such a stalker right?? i know.. like i care.. teehee~~



so that's today's highlight! ^^

P/S: i love my new bestfriends! super cool super funny!! we're not racist!!

my one and only brother

i was having breakfast with my housemate this morning. "ding dong" goes my text alert. its from mama. she forwarded a text form my brother who is currently preparing for his SPM exam. and they held a MAJLIS RESTU  last week which my parents couldnt attend under certain reasons. so it goes:

in the hall filled with parents, i was given support by total strangers. it felt really good but then as i exit the hall, my heart broke, tears started rolling down my face, seeing all the students with their parents. i couldnt help but to feel sad and lonely, just sitting in front of the hall, waiting for something that will never be, hoping that somehow my parents would just walk out of the hall and give me a hug, the ugly truth showed up when the hall became completely empty, my tears burst longing for my parents love, i was crying alone....

this is my reply to him:

dear my one and only brother,
what kinda LOVE from mama and ayah are you longing for? they gave us all the love they have and probably the love which is not even theirs to us. its not their fault that they couldnt come to your majlis restu. mama is working extra hours just so we could live a happy and comfy life. i know you were just feeling lonely and maybe a little bit of jealous seeing all your friends' parents coming for the majlis restu. been there done that. just so you know, we all support you from afar. i know and i believe that you could do your very best in your upcoming exam. in my experience, its kinda too late to do your revision. what's important at this crucial time is to seek for ALLAH's help of course and not to forget blessings from mama and ayah and just pray for the best. trust me, if your niat is good, everything'll turn out great. you'll excel with flying colours. fyi, mama was really touched reading your text and ayah wanted to drive to betong to see you. i wish i could tell you this in person, but i know how you would react and that'll stress you out. so i decided to keep it to myself and post it in my blog. maybe someday when you know about my blog, you'll read it. you know I LOVE YOU even though I NEVER show it to you. believe it or not. your my one and only sibling and without you, i might be lonely. just so you know, my tears are rolling down my face as i typed this. :')


LOVE,
kakak. <3

my kind of boy ^^

3 of my friends tagged me in this post. so i'm just dong this for fun. WARNING: these questions are realted to my DREAM GUY. its only MY DREAM GUY. so if, in the future i end up with a guy nothing like my answers, my dream just won't come true. (:

Do you need him/her to be good looking?

who wouldn't DREAM a good looking guy? duh~

Smart?

maybe not mr. smarty pants. i don't wanna date a walking search engine. it'll be cool if i know what he doesn't and vice versa. we'll learn together! :)

Preferred age?

1-5 years older. don't wanna date my brother. =..=

Preferred height?

definitely TALLER. i'm short.

How about piercings?

HELL TO THE NO!

Accepts you for who you are?

of course!

Pink hair?

hamster?

Mushy or no?

errr..

Thin or fat?

don't really care. but chubby is cute. ^^

Black, Brown or White (skin color)?

blue? haha.. kiddin. don't care.

Long hair or short hair?

no too long nor short. as long as i can see the curliness. curly-haired guys are cute!

Plastic or metal?

metal?

Smells good?

oh yeah.

Smoker?

BIG NO

Drinker?

no no no no no.

Girl/Boy-next-door type?

awww.. cute. ^^

Plays piano?

awww... thank you!

Plays bass and/or acoustic guitar?

OMG! coolio~

Plays violin?

are you kiddin me? knowing that he has a violin means that he's rich. hoho

Sings very good?

awwww... BONUS! sing a lullaby for me baby! ^^

Vain?

errrr.. am i a freak if i said yes?

With glasses?

either frameless or black full-framed

With braces?

kiddin me?? i LOVE guys with braces. please don't discharge it. LOL

Shy type?

NO.

Rebel or good boy/girl?

neither.

Active or passive?

never be passive around anybody please.

Tight or bomb?

bomb??

Singer or dancer?

dancer preferrably. he could teach me.. awww... ^^

Earrings?

ewwwww... NO!

Dimples?

awwwww... that'll be cute!

Bookworm?

that doesn't mean he's a nerd right? then yes.

Playful?

yes yes yes!

Poem writer?

song witer preferrably.

Serious?

na-ah.

Painter?

COOL!

Someone who likes to tease people?

yes. as long as he knows his limit.

Speaks 20 languages?

BONUS!

Loyal or faithful?

faithful. but if we ever get married, pleeeeeeease be loyal!

good kisser

teehee~~ for future needs of course. after we get married?

loves children??

awwwww... so cute!

cute or handsome

oh my~ its hard to choose.