ANOTHER DEPRESSING POST

Assalamualaikum and good night peeps!

AL-FATIHAH

Salam. Uncle TJ and family on MH17. Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun.

it never cross my mind that someone so close would get involve in such tragedy.

all there're left are memories..

i remember Uncle TJ would always crack jokes with mama when they meet.

i remember Aunty Ariza picking us up from school when ayah was busy with stuff.

She drove a green kelisa with colourful steering wheel.

i remember Afif, Afzal, Marsya and Afruz were all so small and cute the last time we met.

Al-Fatihah.

Surely we belong to Allah and to Him shall we return.

FORGIVE AND FORGET

So I just watch the viral peugeot ccm 25 video.

I dont know about you but I cried.
Why?
Because somehow it's sad.
A muslim yelling at the old non muslim chinese.
It's just so embarassing.
Like what the hell
I  doubt that he did it on purpose.
What's in it for him to langgar the peugeot on purpose?

Kan berik malu urang islam jak gia?
Islam taught us to forgive and forget.
Not to yell and bash.

Embarassing.
Just.
Plain.
Embarassing.

HURT

the least i could do is be happy for you..
even though there's a whole major part of me that's hurting..
because to love is to let go.. (really?)

i cannot blame you for not being aware..

it's entirely my own fault for not letting it out..

isnt it stupid to be scared of your own feelings?

to be scared of losing?

to be scared of the fact that we dont own the world?

come on, girl.

be sensible.

be realistic.

it's a crazy world out there.

crazy.

CRAZY.

HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

Hi babe! I miss you! So how was your day?  Tell me ALL about it... im all ears.

A text or a even better, a call from a boyfriend is what I long for..
To hear my everyday rants...
My everyday stories....

Hmmmmm...

P/s: sorry for being too emotional on this matter while it was something that I shouldn't be wasting my time on.

BEING SPECIAL

Assalamualaikum!

Despite the fact that i dont really like kids, Im enjoying my internship.
Today was internship day 2 and I just got my daily schedule since she was absent yesterday.
Miss azhani is really nice.
I like her A LOT.
She has IT backgroind and somehow ended at CADS.

What's CADS you ask?
It stands for cerebral palsy, autism, dyslexia & down syndrome and slow learners.
It's a school for the special kids.
Trust me, they are very special in their own way.
That's why I enjoy it so much.
You get to see different behaviours everyday.
If I were to tell you how they were like, this post wont be enough.
Not even the whole blog.
There's so much stories to tell.
Every kid has their own story.

So I was briefed (is this a word?) By miss hani today on what Im suposed to do as a teaching assistant.
Yep!
You're now reading TEACHER FATIN'S blog. Lol
My working hours is from 0800 to 1500.
Im on children duty every day in which I look after the children while waiting for someone to pick em up.
No formal wear to work but doesnt mean I can wear jeans.
Raya holiday is one week.
Yep! Gonna be in kuching for that one whole week woohoo!
And for a friend's birthday as well.

What else can I say?
I love my job!
And let's just hope it will be consistent okay?
InshaAllah..

Oh
I was moved by watching the kids performing Zuhur prayer just now.
Despite their disabilities and speech impairment, they were taught to sujud to The Almighty.
They memorised the bacaan bacaan solat as well as the doa selepas solat

What about us?
Created as normal beings, no impairments whatsoever.
Why won't we sujud to Him?
Are we not grateful?
Astaghfirullahalazim.

Think about it.
Jom muhasabah diri.
Assalamualaikum.

SCOOP THE POOP (LOL)

Assalamualaikum!
Here's some scoop.

I am already in kl for my internship.
Went to the workplace yesterday to learn the route and get to meet my supervisor
And look around the place.

Drove to and from the workplace twice today just to familiarise myself with the route since I'll be driving alone.
Kept losing my way back from the workplace but luckily there's gps so it rerouted so many times for me.
Well thank you technology!

I think that's about it for now.
Keep in touch for more updates!
Oh and salaam ramadhan kareem to all!

P/s: had a talk with mama and mak yah on boyfriends and girlfriends and they were like: "you people ah, highly educated and all but when it comes to relationships, fail! You guys give talk here and there, but dont even know how to get a boyfriend.." lets talk bout this in some other post okay?

YOU WIN SOME YOU LOSE SOME

I now realise my weakness is that I'm afraid of losing.
That's why I've never really played the game like ever.
I just plain hate the feeling of losing

Hey fatin!
Life's not about winning.
Its about taking chances.
Yes it hurts when you lose.
But that's how you learn.
Maybe that's not the prize you should be winning.
Maybe there's a bigger prize.
You dont know know which is the prize for you until you make your move in the game.

So fatin,
Are you ready to make a move to win?
Or you would wanna lose without even playing?
Or that you're now willing to flip the coin?

Your call.

P/s: was smiling all the way home. Hik hik hik

MY FIRST BOYFRIEND

I may act cold towards you at times
But that doesnt mean that I dont love you
It's just that sometimes
I need to be careful with words and actions
So that I won't hurt your feelings
Because that's how much I respect you
As a father

I may not be as expressive as adek,
But I guess I dont really have to show it
Because no child could ever not love their father
After all,
there's no other need in a child,
Except for the protection and love from a father.

You're the first guy that I've ever loved and always will be
Since the very first day I saw you.
And so far,
Nobody could ever top that
(Yes ayah.. I still dont have a boyfriend so you dont need to worry)

Happy fathers' day!

P/s: I dont have the courage to send this to ayah so I post it here instead. :)

READ BETWEEN THE LINES

i may look happy-go-lucky in the outside
but nobody really knows what's going on in the inside.
you have to be really awesome to decode my feelings
lets just keep that way okay?
until i found the one who can decode that.

i figured one of the reasons why i've never been in a relationship
is because i dont express my feelings well.
my brother knows that.
Alhamdulillah she's my brother and that he knows even i've never really show it to him,
i love him very much.
right adek? right?? right???

today,
i googled "how to not say i miss you without having to say i miss you"
because i guess im just too embarass with my own feelings.
so i came up with,

"you know, it's been a while. i think we should hang out some time when you're less busy.."

having to say that is already embarrassing enough for me.

oh my.