FORGIVE AND FORGET

So I just watch the viral peugeot ccm 25 video.

I dont know about you but I cried.
Why?
Because somehow it's sad.
A muslim yelling at the old non muslim chinese.
It's just so embarassing.
Like what the hell
I  doubt that he did it on purpose.
What's in it for him to langgar the peugeot on purpose?

Kan berik malu urang islam jak gia?
Islam taught us to forgive and forget.
Not to yell and bash.

Embarassing.
Just.
Plain.
Embarassing.

HURT

the least i could do is be happy for you..
even though there's a whole major part of me that's hurting..
because to love is to let go.. (really?)

i cannot blame you for not being aware..

it's entirely my own fault for not letting it out..

isnt it stupid to be scared of your own feelings?

to be scared of losing?

to be scared of the fact that we dont own the world?

come on, girl.

be sensible.

be realistic.

it's a crazy world out there.

crazy.

CRAZY.

HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

Hi babe! I miss you! So how was your day?  Tell me ALL about it... im all ears.

A text or a even better, a call from a boyfriend is what I long for..
To hear my everyday rants...
My everyday stories....

Hmmmmm...

P/s: sorry for being too emotional on this matter while it was something that I shouldn't be wasting my time on.

BEING SPECIAL

Assalamualaikum!

Despite the fact that i dont really like kids, Im enjoying my internship.
Today was internship day 2 and I just got my daily schedule since she was absent yesterday.
Miss azhani is really nice.
I like her A LOT.
She has IT backgroind and somehow ended at CADS.

What's CADS you ask?
It stands for cerebral palsy, autism, dyslexia & down syndrome and slow learners.
It's a school for the special kids.
Trust me, they are very special in their own way.
That's why I enjoy it so much.
You get to see different behaviours everyday.
If I were to tell you how they were like, this post wont be enough.
Not even the whole blog.
There's so much stories to tell.
Every kid has their own story.

So I was briefed (is this a word?) By miss hani today on what Im suposed to do as a teaching assistant.
Yep!
You're now reading TEACHER FATIN'S blog. Lol
My working hours is from 0800 to 1500.
Im on children duty every day in which I look after the children while waiting for someone to pick em up.
No formal wear to work but doesnt mean I can wear jeans.
Raya holiday is one week.
Yep! Gonna be in kuching for that one whole week woohoo!
And for a friend's birthday as well.

What else can I say?
I love my job!
And let's just hope it will be consistent okay?
InshaAllah..

Oh
I was moved by watching the kids performing Zuhur prayer just now.
Despite their disabilities and speech impairment, they were taught to sujud to The Almighty.
They memorised the bacaan bacaan solat as well as the doa selepas solat

What about us?
Created as normal beings, no impairments whatsoever.
Why won't we sujud to Him?
Are we not grateful?
Astaghfirullahalazim.

Think about it.
Jom muhasabah diri.
Assalamualaikum.

SCOOP THE POOP (LOL)

Assalamualaikum!
Here's some scoop.

I am already in kl for my internship.
Went to the workplace yesterday to learn the route and get to meet my supervisor
And look around the place.

Drove to and from the workplace twice today just to familiarise myself with the route since I'll be driving alone.
Kept losing my way back from the workplace but luckily there's gps so it rerouted so many times for me.
Well thank you technology!

I think that's about it for now.
Keep in touch for more updates!
Oh and salaam ramadhan kareem to all!

P/s: had a talk with mama and mak yah on boyfriends and girlfriends and they were like: "you people ah, highly educated and all but when it comes to relationships, fail! You guys give talk here and there, but dont even know how to get a boyfriend.." lets talk bout this in some other post okay?

YOU WIN SOME YOU LOSE SOME

I now realise my weakness is that I'm afraid of losing.
That's why I've never really played the game like ever.
I just plain hate the feeling of losing

Hey fatin!
Life's not about winning.
Its about taking chances.
Yes it hurts when you lose.
But that's how you learn.
Maybe that's not the prize you should be winning.
Maybe there's a bigger prize.
You dont know know which is the prize for you until you make your move in the game.

So fatin,
Are you ready to make a move to win?
Or you would wanna lose without even playing?
Or that you're now willing to flip the coin?

Your call.

P/s: was smiling all the way home. Hik hik hik

MY FIRST BOYFRIEND

I may act cold towards you at times
But that doesnt mean that I dont love you
It's just that sometimes
I need to be careful with words and actions
So that I won't hurt your feelings
Because that's how much I respect you
As a father

I may not be as expressive as adek,
But I guess I dont really have to show it
Because no child could ever not love their father
After all,
there's no other need in a child,
Except for the protection and love from a father.

You're the first guy that I've ever loved and always will be
Since the very first day I saw you.
And so far,
Nobody could ever top that
(Yes ayah.. I still dont have a boyfriend so you dont need to worry)

Happy fathers' day!

P/s: I dont have the courage to send this to ayah so I post it here instead. :)

READ BETWEEN THE LINES

i may look happy-go-lucky in the outside
but nobody really knows what's going on in the inside.
you have to be really awesome to decode my feelings
lets just keep that way okay?
until i found the one who can decode that.

i figured one of the reasons why i've never been in a relationship
is because i dont express my feelings well.
my brother knows that.
Alhamdulillah she's my brother and that he knows even i've never really show it to him,
i love him very much.
right adek? right?? right???

today,
i googled "how to not say i miss you without having to say i miss you"
because i guess im just too embarass with my own feelings.
so i came up with,

"you know, it's been a while. i think we should hang out some time when you're less busy.."

having to say that is already embarrassing enough for me.

oh my.

FATIN CHIN UP!

I used to be someone who is single and happy about it.
Now  I'm still single and all depressed not being in a relationship..
What has I turn into???

You know what's even more pathetic?
I even went to the drive thru to see whether im in luck to meet mr DT again
Even though I've had dinner at my aunty's

Nope.
No luck.
Now I feel stupid.
Feel so desperate.

Gave my mcnuggets to anis instead.

I need to overcome this conflict.
Stupid erikson.
Why do you have to come up with auch conflict?
If you learn human psychology, you know what im saying.

A little shoutout to my friend who has gotten herself a boyfriend.. you know who you are. I know I should be happy for you. Sorry for being all depressed. Deep down you know im happy for you.. ^^

TINA AND HARRY

tina meets harry.

tina likes harry but tina kept it only to herself.

because that's how tina is.

little did they know, harry likes tina too.

harry told tina first, but tina was embarassed.

not long after, tina told harry the same thing.

but tina wasnt really sure and so does harry.

so they decided to be buddies.

tina believes that a guy and a girl can hangout together, without having feelings for each other.

tina realised that she was wrong.

tina started to have feelings for harry again,

and this time for sure.

tina does not express her feelings well verbally, so tina expressed it through her actions.

tina cheers harry up when harry feels down.

tina says yes when harry asked her out and would do anything just to make it only the two of em.

tina entertains harry when he's bored.

tina comforts harry when he's in trouble.

harry said he's glad to have tina.

harry's glad to have tina who always comfort him.

harry said he sayang tina.

on the side note, harry shares everything to tina.

including the secrets that harry had never told anybody before.

tina knows a lot about harry.

however, harry doesn't know a lot about tina.

tina was flattered.

tina was over the moon.

tina likes harry more and more.

however, tina was confused.

harry's words and actions are in-congruent.

once, tina told harry that she will be there by his side no matter what,

as words of comfort that is.

harry was grateful but he's afraid that if he take the relationship to a different level,

it might jeopardise the friendship.

harry misunderstood the statement.

that's not what tina meant.

tina was just grateful to have harry,

that tina was the one who harry came for when he has problems.

harry always told tina about the gilrs he met.

at the workplace,

at a restaurant,

and even online.

tina listens to harry's story.

even though it hurts, tina would just support harry.

"go for it!", tina said.

tina was a little bit mad.

tina was mad at harry for not realising her feelings towards him.

tina was mad at herself the most for not being able to tell harry.

tina chose to stay quiet even though it hurts.

tina's heart is aching.

still, tina chose to wait.

tina kept telling herself that's its fine.

well at least that what tina wants to believe.

because that's tina.

tina hopes that one day harry would realise that tina is the one who's always there for him.

one day, harry will understand that.

but tina also have to understand that harry cannot read minds.

so sooner or later tina has to let harry know.

but tina chose not to.

not yet.

maybe harry's not the one.

tina has to find some other guy.

but it wont be easy.

and so tina keeps waiting...