OF BEING MAD AND SELFISH

how often do you wake up early in the morning,
feeling so miserable, mad at yourself for no reason,
and just need to let it all out of your system.

me?
once a month.
i bet most women experience the same thing.

these couple of days i just feel like
ugh!
im so mad at myself.
that i really need distractions.
that i really need someone to talk to
without getting on my nerves
without being annoying and all.

im a person who dont really like to get mad at other people.
when i am,
i would just normally keep it to myself.
or maybe write about it.
talking about it with another person would be the last thing i'd do.
i just dont like the idea of getting mad at people.
to me,
getting mad is a selfish act.
there's always reasons behind every action, you know.
maybe A behaves in a certain way that probably YOU dont approve of
and then YOU without even thinking what makes A behaves that way.
this is why at the end of the day,
i will be mad at myself for being mad at people.
realising that i didnt consider their reasons of behaving such a way.
be positive.

BE POSITIVE
.
BE POSITIVE

BE POSITIVE

Gosh.
that is somewhat complicated.

maybe its just my hormones.
women's hormones during menses work in a very weird complicated way.
making us women feel like such losers
like a patient with mental disorders or something
an emotional disorder maybe.
you're happy and laughing and then the next thing you're crying and be mad at yourself.
last night, i cried watching joe flizzow's apa khabar mv.
because i just knew that the song was dedicated to his long lost bestfriend.
and hearing the words and watching everything.
it's just too touching.


i think i need to cry one more time
just to let this uneasy feeling out of my system
before my telephone interview with NES this afternoon.
because that's just how i deal with emotions.

i think imma watch my sister's keeper
and weep
before i prepare something for the interview.

this is so pathetic.